


What If We Ruin It All And We Love Like Fools?

by EmJayAnders



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:24:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmJayAnders/pseuds/EmJayAnders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 1 LaFerry coming to terms with their feelings for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What If We Ruin It All And We Love Like Fools?

Lola Perry was never someone who could be described as extraordinary. In fact she thrived on normalcy and all of every day life's mundane happenings. She was average height, average intelligence and enjoyed average things. Her best friend LaFontaine however was as far from ordinary as was physically possible. They were excitable, had short yet floppy hair that burned orange and existed purely for the abnormal and unusual.

How and why they became friends Perry did not know, well she remembered their first meeting at the age of five in the schoolyard but everything after that was a blur; late nights, movie days and a friendship spanning 15 years. Perry and LaFontaine had been to hell and back, always by each other's side. They went to their first day of elementary school together, they were each other's dates to the junior prom and Perry had held LaFontaine as they cried about being gay.

They were never without the other.

Side by side until the end of time.

At least they used to be.

When LaFontaine went missing Perry lost herself; she didn't know how to function without her best friend by her side, guiding her path like always. Her once controlled OCD span out of control and all she could do was clean and clean and clean in the hopes of washing away the mess that were her emotions. Then LaF came back Perry started to feel whole again- even if LaFontaine wasn't themselves, they were there and Perry felt at home.

She thought everything would go back to normal after the defeat of the Dean. Everyone was alive- although Carmilla was dead for a while- and everyone got their happy ending. Laura got Carmilla, Danny and Kirsch seemed to be growing closer, Betty moved schools and the other girls returned to their college life. Everyone's horror story was turning into a fairy tale. All except for Perry.

J.P the human Flashdrive had taken over LaFontaine's life, they were always at the library together either researching or god knows what else. Perry was left on her own, making and remaking her bed in an endless cycle of folding and un-creasing. The foul smelling smoke, luminescent bubbles and test tubes were no longer regular features of their room. Instead it was neat, with perfectly organised books and a lack of life Perry had never known. The entire room smelled of the antiseptic that she had used in the bathroom countless times only it was fresh instead of laced with smoke from one of LaF's experiments.

The room was quiet.

The room was empty.

The room wasn't all that was empty.

Perry didn't know how to feel anymore; the place where her heart should be felt like a black, bottomless chasm- similar to the one the Dean's broken body was currently lying in. Perry wanted to break a bone, maybe it would remind her she could feel.

Over the past two weeks she had been telling herself she simply missed the familiar presence of LaFontaine; their jokes and ridiculous antics because they reminded her of the friendship they had maintained for a decade and a half.

The lies were starting to lose their effect.

Perry had never had a relationship, nor did she ever feel the want for one. The ginger had thought it was because she hadn't met the right person yet.

The truth of the matter was she had known the person all along.

Perry didn't know when things had changed, maybe it had always been the same. Maybe she had been lying to herself all along. What was it her mother had told her? Honesty was the best policy. The lies released their hold on her.

Lola Perry was in love with LaFontaine.

 

LaFontaine never thought of Lola Perry as ordinary- the girl may have lived in normality but LaFontaine thought she was extraordinary. Her vibrant curly hair, organisational skills and just general being mesmerized LaFontaine; these things were what led them to walking over to the older girl in kindergarten and striking up a conversation with her. They were nervous, talking to a girl that pretty who wouldn't be? But still they persisted and couldn't have been happier when Perry agreed to play with them.

That's how it began, harmless children playing at recess. They grew up but the dynamic remained the same: LaFontaine was the wildcard, fun, playful and funny and Perry was the caregiver, taking care of them when they got hurt and making sure they stayed safe. They were perfect opposites and perfect friends.

When LaFontaine started to feel different to the other girls her age it was Perry they confided in, told her of the way they thought boys were gross and why couldn't they just be normal? Perry explained everything and helped them through coming out to their friends and family, she looked after them as she always had. LaFontaine had always been thankful of that; the way she never treated them differently, when their whole world was crashing down around them Perry was there to hold their hand and keep them grounded. The whole Genderqueer thing shook her a bit more but she still tried to be supportive and LaFontaine understood that this would take a bit more getting used to.

Silas University was where things changed, their first year not so much, it all remained the same then LaFontaine was still the experimenter and Perry was the mother. Their second year however was a different story.

Laura Hollis and Carmilla Karnstein entered their lives and the weird and wonderful LaFontaine had always dreamed of and Perry feared began to take over the campus. Things at Silas had always been unusual but nowhere near the magnitude of that year.

Perry acted the same as always, trying to deny the extraordinary but this time LaFontaine couldn't stand it when she refused to accept the supernatural and then their identity. It was the final straw and they found solace with Laura and of all people-or things- J.P.

Perry tried to change, she really did but LaF couldn't just stand around and wait for her.

That's when things really started to change; LaFontaine's disappearance changed them, they feared the dark nights and things that went bump in the blackness. They sought refuge in the library because walking into their room to see Perry was becoming too much now, they couldn't stand the worried looks and careful touches. Not anymore. They didn't want to drag down their best friend, not after everything she had done for them in the past. The longing they felt for Perry's presence beside them in the library wasn't normal and LaFontaine knew that; they knew they felt more for her than they should.

It was something they had known from the minute they met her.

LaFontaine was in love with Lola Perry.

 

When the door finally opened at 7:37am exactly that morning Perry was up out of her chair in an instant. LaFontaine froze in the open doorway, there were no books in their arms like usual, instead they just looked tired. "I thought you'd still be asleep." They said quietly, ducking their head.

"I waited up for you." Perry replied curtly, LaFontaine winced at her tone and the older girl mentally scolded herself. "Sorry, I was just worried."

"You don't need to be. I'm fine." LaFontaine closed the door and made their way over to their bed, taking the bag off from their shoulder. Perry couldn't take it.

"Well I would have known that if you'd called me, or texted me, or actually answered your phone." Perry followed them and grabbed their wrist, LaF pulled away instantly. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"Because I don't want you to always have to clean up my messes Perr!" They whirled round, tears spilling out from their blue eyes and burning tracks down their pale cheeks. "Ever since we were kids you've always looked after me, taken care of me and put me back together when I fall apart. I constantly hold you back and I don't want to do that anymore." Perry was shocked, this was definitely not something she expected. "I stay at the library with J.P all the time because he doesn't understand and so doesn't ask questions but with you- you always check up on me, always worry and I'm sick of you having to do that Perry. You should be able to just live your life and I'm stopping you from doing that." Perry wiped at her face and her hand came away damp. When had she started crying?

"LaFontaine." The instant use of their real name snapped LaF out of their staring match with the floor. They looked up and locked eyes with their best friend. "You could never hold me back. I love looking after you, it's what I'm good at." Perry shrugged as a small smile played at the corners of her mouth "And sure there's been some…unusual things going on but it's not going to change us. We've always been best friends and we always will."

"But that's the thing Perry, I don't want us to be just friends." Perry almost fell backwards. LaFontaine's eyes widened with the realisation of what they had said. "Perr, I…I didn't mean-" The sentence was stopped abruptly however as Perry launched herself into LaFontaine's familiar arms and pressed her lips against theirs. The kiss surprised both of them but it was certainly not unwelcome. Hands grabbed at hair and hips, tears trickled into mouths and the world fell away. It was cliché but it was the only way they could describe it. There was only their room. There was only them. There was only their love.

 


End file.
